Like it or not, you are a negotiator. Negotiation is fact of life. You discuss a raise with your boss. Two lawyers try to settle a lawsuit arising from a car accident. Everyone negotiates something every day. Although negotiation takes place every day, it is not easy to do well. Most people see only two ways to negotiate: soft or hard. Soft negotiators want an amicable resolution; yet they often end up exploited and feeling bitter. The hard negotiator wants to win; yet he often ends up producing an equally hard response which exhausts him and his resources and harms his relationship with the other side.
However there is a third way to negotiate, a way neither hard nor soft, but rather both hard and soft. This book is about this method called principled negotiation. Principled negotiation shows you how to obtain what you are entitled to and still be decent. It enables you to be fair while protecting you against those who would take advantage of your fairness.
This book is about the method of principled negotiation. The first chapter describes problems that arise in using the standard strategies of positional bargaining. The next four chapters lay out the four principles of the method: 1. Separate the people from the problem, 2. Focus on interests, not positions, 3. Invent options for mutual gain, 4. Insist on objective criteria. The next three chapters answer the questions most commonly asked about the method: What if the other side is more powerful? What if they will not play along? And what if they use dirty tricks?